Anatomy of the NOT Old Fashioned
This is a fan page. Dedicated to Nick Offerman and his brilliant 45 minute advert for his favourite drink, whiskey. Before we type anything further we want to stress that it is brilliant. He does NOT utter a word throughout, he just sits next to a fireplace with a cheeky glass of the good stuff. For 45 minutes. Mesmerising!
We bet he would love our non alcoholic craft seltzer, the NOT Old Fashioned. In fact any tippler of drams seems to reach for the NOT Old Fashioned frequently. This phenomenon is both exciting and mysterious. We had the sudden urge to dissect this drinker. Who is this person really?
Stars and famous TV characters from a Don Draper to a Lady Gaga, all have expressed their singular love for whiskey. We believe a general tippler of the drink and our non alcoholic seltzer is peculiar in their ways, and have very specific aesthetics. A house made of handmade furniture, kitchen counters, beds, linen. An expensive, niche bathrobe that serves as office wear. Black Coffee. Music that surfs the waves of neo genres. Ideas that do not adhere to traditional or current trends.
The autopsy we conducted hinted towards a desire for drama. NOT necessarily drama as seen in Indian TV serials with the triple head turns. A never ending saga that has our families unfortunately hooked. But a certain flair, a show that captivates the senses. They love a Hot Toddy or a well made Manchester. When it’s their turn to talk they throw in good word plays. When they step out, they pair classic boots with their signature gold jewelry and shades, even if it is to buy veggies from the seller downstairs.
Imbibers of whiskey, a non alcoholic seltzer or otherwise, are those whose words stick. Like a Master Oogway or a Dumbledore, their pearls of wisdom are few but accurate. Google search ‘life quotes’ and do NOT be surprised to find a few of their proverbs on ‘Brainy Quotes’. Under Anonymous, if they wish to be dramatic. Our advice? Ask for their counsel when confused between choco mint and belgium chocolate ice cream.
All this is of course speculation from a dissection performed over a day. There are some facts and most inferences. We might chance upon a ‘scientific' study that opposes our examination. But one canNOT deny that we are a step closer to an understanding. And one canNOT deny that Nick Offerman is a goldmine of a man. Nick Offerman if you are reading this, please give us a ping.
Slow sip the craft seltzer, NOT Old Fashioned, will you? Till next time!